Thursday, January 19, 2012

"Sir, would you like a cookie?"

There I was, on flight 138 from Denver to Dallas; comfortable enough reading Hemingway and surprisingly indifferent to the slumping Pickwickian in the next seat who with head forward, chin on chest, was leaning rightward into my left arm.  That’s when I heard it.  “Attention passengers.  We will now begin to hand out our world famous homemade chocolate chip cookies.”  Oh no!  Today isn’t my free day!  What do I do?  Keep reading, Bryan.  Focus.  That’s the key, just keep reading.  You can do this. 

Though my eyes were reading the words on the page, my mind was elsewhere in a philosophical debate with my own devil’s advocate.  Perhaps this calls for an about-face?  Today can be a free day, right?  Better late than never if a world famous chocolate chip cookie is at stake.  Hmmm.  No.  I want my free day to mean more.  Chocolate chip cookie yes, but I want it to mean so much more.  There is so much to indulge in within the world of chocolate.  I’ll wait.  It’s only one cookie.

With resolve to remain strong, the climax of temptation arrived suddenly and without warning.  Completely blindsided I smelled it.  Not only are they sensuous chocolate chip cookies, but they’re warm!  Oh no!  Oh no!!  It’s amazing that the human nose can distinguish not only the smell, but the temperature.  Now it’s hard.  Really?!? Curse you, Frontier Airlines!  She’s right behind me now.  Only two rows back.  I can hear her asking repeatedly, “Would you like a cookie?”  Duh!  Who wouldn’t???  Me?!?  I can make it a free day.  No big deal.  I have seven to burn.  One row away now.  Be strong.  One cookie isn’t worth it.  I’ll be at the hotel soon, with nothing to supplement this one scrumptious cookie with.  Only cheap candy bars from the gift shop.  No, it’s not worth it.  Don’t blow free day.  The conference will have break tables on all three days.  I’ve seen them before, packed to the gills with brownies AND chocolate chip cookies.  Lots of them.  But they’re not warm.  But there are many.  Hmmm.

“Sir, would you like a cookie?” she says, as two warm cookies float to my left inches from my nose and mouth en route to window and middle seat.  I try to appear as if untempted, just coming to the surface of consciousness from the world of Hemingway.  “Oh, no thank you,” I say with a smile.  Little does she know the fury of the debate, the giving in and the standing tall.  In the end I conquered.  Partly.  In the hour of my greatest need, I reasoned that the sense of taste is seventy five percent smell and only twenty five percent taste.  So if I close my eyes and savor the smell as deeply as I can I will consume seventy five percent of that delicious cookie, while ingesting zero calories.  It’s like diet cookie.  So I do just that.  Ahhh!  Chocolate chip!  So so good!  Frontier does have some of the best chocolate chip cookies in the world.  Especially warm.  Mmm mmm.  Great job, Bryan.  You got the cookie and kept your free day! You did it! 

Can’t wait ‘til Saturday…


Jamica said...

Yeay! You posted on our blog! Our posterity will now know you existed! And this specific post is so telling... they will know the REAL you! :) I love you Mr. Wilcox!

Emily said...

I think I read this story every time I check your blog. It makes me laugh everytime (and gives me my sugar fix I can't get until Saturday!)

Robyn DeGaetano said...

Are you still doing the whole "candy and sweets only on the weekends" thing? I remember you mentioning that to Lou and I one time when you were home teaching us and I thought it was impressive. I've actually recently adopted this idea, too. I NEED to cut down on the sweets, and so I've been trying out the "weekend only" approach. Man, it can be hard sometimes!! But there is an amazing feeling when you resist a temptation (even if it IS just a cookie.), isn't there?
And I love this post, because the inner-monologue you had going during the "cookie" temptation was absolutley hilarious...and something I totally would have done in my own head, too. :)